Where You Lead

Hope

For it was by hope that were were saved; but if we see what we hope for, then it is not really hope. For who hopes for something he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

All those words to get to that one word that makes me wince: patience. We are a society of instant gratification. We want it now and we know how to make that happen. Is it any wonder that we get frustrated and lose hope when God doesn’t give us the answer we want when we want it?

These past two weeks, I’ve struggled with patience. I’ve prayed and pleaded with God to make my situation right. I suppose you could say I’ve been a nag. I’m not sure if God’s intention was to teach me patience or if there’s some other reason for the waiting. I do know that in some odd way, waiting has been good. Waiting and wanting and praying and hoping have brought me closer to my Lord and have strengthened my faith.

Don’t get me wrong, this hasn’t been an easy journey. I threatened God at one point, telling Him I was going to give up on Him. I cussed Him out in a moment of despair, too. I’m sure that isn’t what God wanted from me but I think He’d rather I scream at Him than ignore Him. And since God sees what is in my heart, I know that He saw the anguish that was there.

I’ve realized, too, that through all the turmoil these past weeks, God has been right by side, holding me in His arms and keeping my hope alive. Despite my rollercoaster emotions, I never stopped hoping for an answer.

Even now, as we approach the two week mark of this family crisis, my hope is still in my Lord.