Where You Lead

Give Me Rest

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Psalm 127:1-2

I know that the Lord helps those who help themselves. God does not want us to be lazy, that’s for sure. But when we do his work and we honor Him, there’s no need to worry or to lose sleep over whether we’ll be successful or not. God will take care of us, even as we sleep.

Lately, I’ve had trouble concentrating on my work. My mind has been preoccupied with worry. For all my prayers and my declarations of faith, I still spend way too much time wondering and worrying. I lose sleep as I think about “what if?” or “now what?”

We needn’t worry though. We must simply set about doing the right thing, taking care of our responsibilities and doing our best for the Lord. He will tend to the rest. He will take care of us, even as we sleep. That’s faith.

Hope

For it was by hope that were were saved; but if we see what we hope for, then it is not really hope. For who hopes for something he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

All those words to get to that one word that makes me wince: patience. We are a society of instant gratification. We want it now and we know how to make that happen. Is it any wonder that we get frustrated and lose hope when God doesn’t give us the answer we want when we want it?

These past two weeks, I’ve struggled with patience. I’ve prayed and pleaded with God to make my situation right. I suppose you could say I’ve been a nag. I’m not sure if God’s intention was to teach me patience or if there’s some other reason for the waiting. I do know that in some odd way, waiting has been good. Waiting and wanting and praying and hoping have brought me closer to my Lord and have strengthened my faith.

Don’t get me wrong, this hasn’t been an easy journey. I threatened God at one point, telling Him I was going to give up on Him. I cussed Him out in a moment of despair, too. I’m sure that isn’t what God wanted from me but I think He’d rather I scream at Him than ignore Him. And since God sees what is in my heart, I know that He saw the anguish that was there.

I’ve realized, too, that through all the turmoil these past weeks, God has been right by side, holding me in His arms and keeping my hope alive. Despite my rollercoaster emotions, I never stopped hoping for an answer.

Even now, as we approach the two week mark of this family crisis, my hope is still in my Lord.

In The Face Of Evil

Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

Rom 12:21

If I was looking for a sign to be proactive in righting a wrong, I sure did get one. But it wasn’t a sign that pushed me to action. Instead, it was simply reading God’s word and realizing that my only action should be love.

When faced with evil, and surely that is what my family is facing right now, my first inclination is to resist, to fight back, to conquer. That would be a mistake. It is only by remaining pure and good, by continuing to love, that evil will be overcome. When I stop resisting, I allow God to take over. I allow whatever is, to just be.

The most difficult of meeting evil with good is praying for those who are causing my pain. Tonight I prayed fervently for the one who is hurting my family. I prayed for blessings to be showered upon her. I didn’t qualify that with a “so she will stop hurting us” or anything like that. I simply asked God to bless her. And I meant it.

I wonder what would happen if everyone prayed altogether for God’s blessings to shower those who hurt us. I wonder how quickly we could conquer evil with our united good?

Signs

Have you ever wondered if some odd moment or event might be a sign from God? Do you look for signs in your life? Have you ever asked God for a sign?

This topic arose this evening while talking with my 17 year old son. He suggested I do something specific to rectify a situation that has my whole family in turmoil. Truly, taking action to bring comfort to our family is a good thing. The problem is, the action could hurt someone else.

To complicate matter more, the person who could get hurt is someone who has caused pain to those I love. So the dilemma I face is whether any action I take is to make right a wrong or is it really my hidden desire for revenge? Thus, I have asked for a sign that will point me in the right direction.

Deep inside, I really believe that the sign will be no sign at all. I think God will deal with this situation without any input from me. But I will still be watching. I’ll be alert so that if there is a sign, I will not miss it. I have a feeling that just being alert will open my eyes to all kinds of other signs and messages that God is sending.

It’s Faith

I’m going to take this moment right here, right now, to Thank God for what is going to happen. I’m not being presumptuous. I simply believe that God will not let me down.

I’ve prayed for a resolution to a family crisis. I’ve prayed that God would heal my family. I think He’s doing that now. Part of me is afraid to get my hopes up. I’m afraid of being let down. But another part of me knows so well the wonders of our Lord. I’ve been blessed so many times. I’ve been amazed at His power. I know He loves me and He wants me to be happy.

And so tonight I’m thanking Him for what will happen tomorrow. Because I believe.

Just Listen

I’ve been praying. Fervently. I’m in dire need of God’s blessings right now, for me and for my entire family. In fact, I’ve been praying so much that I almost forgot to stop and listen.

I was so desperate yesterday that I begged God that if this wasn’t the time to answer my prayer, to at least give me a sign that things would be okay. And then I prayed some more.

When I finally shut up and listened, I got that one sign. It wasn’t the solution to my problem, but it was the sign I’d requested. That one glimmer of hope was right there, waiting for me to listen to it.

Praying is good. God wants to be at the top of our priority list. He wants to be our first thought in the morning and our last thought at night; and He wants to be a part of every minute between the two. But God wants to speak to us, too. He wants us to listen.

Today, I’m going to listen to God. I don’t want to miss His message to me.

Fathers And Daughters

I’ve had a lot of time to think about fathers and daughters lately. I’ve contemplated my own relationship with my father as I’ve tried to guide my son in his relationship with his daughter. I’ve realized how very fortunate I am to have a father who loves me so selflessly.

I could write page after page about my dad and all the things that make him special. One thing, though, sets him apart. He has shared with me, very quietly and without fanfare, his faith. He is not a loud or gregarious man; he doesn’t preach or recite Bible passages. He lives his faith every day, every moment.

In my attempt to be more diligent in saying my Rosary every day, I’ve pulled out a few pamphlets as well as two books explaining the Rosary. The first, Scriptural Rosary, is a small hardback book that my dad gave me. Inside, he wrote simply,

To Marisa
With
Love
Daddy

The second book, The Secret of the Rosary, is a paperback and honestly, I didn’t remember where I’d gotten it. Until I opened it, that is. Inside the front cover my dad had written,

To My
Daughter Marisa
May you find patience,
wisdom and purity of heart and body
As I did.
Love ya
your Dad
in Christ

My Father in heaven must have loved me a great deal to have blessed me with such a wonderful earthly father. Today, as I beg and plead with my heavenly Father to answer my prayer and bring peace and healing to my family, I will keep in mind that I have no been forsaken. I will remember the blessings I’ve been given and have faith that more will come.

The Unknown

Not to forget the lessons of the past week, I’ve kept up with my prayers. Of course, I’ve been in dire need of God’s blessings. I suppose the question is, Will I continue praying faithfully if He answers my prayer? Oh, I do hope I will.

For now, I’m trying to find the strength and the faith to say, “Not my will but Thy will be done.” I talked with my son today about the faith to do that, the acceptance of what is and the belief that God will tend to us in His own time.

And yet, I fear. It’s the unknown that totally wipes me out. If God would send me a sign indicating exactly when my prayer will be answered, highlighting a path that I must take to get to His answer, I could handle the waiting. Yes, I realize that I’m talking in circles. It’s the unknown – and acceptance of it – that brings grace to my life. It’s remaining at peace and trusting His love in spite of not knowing that is the true testament of my faith.

I’ve been praying the Rosary every day. When you pray, please remember me and my family in your prayers.

This Is Why

I tend to ask “Why me?” whenever bad things happen. When someone hurts me, I’m especially confused. I really do try to be kind to others so I never get it when people are unkind.

Today was a rough day. It’s a personal thing and I’m not comfortable giving details. The person whose actions caused me grief had been very special to me. Although our relationship changed, I’ve tried to be loving and generous. It’s becoming more and more difficult to do that, though, when my heart keeps breaking.

Anyway, I sat here wondering why these things were happening to me and to my family and thought I should pray. I reached for my Rosary and my daughter commented about it. The next thing I knew my daughter, her friend and I were all saying the Rosary. We prayed for the person who was causing so much emotional turmoil for my family.

That’s when I realized that if not for the hard times, I might get lazy about praying. It seems when I start pushing God to the back burner, He yanks on my chain and yells at me to pay attention.

Maybe that’s the answer to “Why me?”

Is “Thank You” Enough?

Sometimes it just doesn’t seem like those two tiny words are enough. When God’s hand in your life is so apparent that it takes your breath away, “Thank you” just doesn’t seem to cut it.

Today I will be out and about. I’m not one to stand around preaching to total strangers, but I do believe that my actions can be a prayer and a testament to God’s loving power. Today especially, I will dedicate my every action, every word, to God. This day will be my prayer of thanksgiving to God for answering my prayer and for always taking care of me.

Thank you for giving me this morning. Thank you for giving me today.